Yeah, I know, it sounds a little filthy, doesn’t it? That’s not what I had in mind, though.
What I am thinking about, though, is the process of entering a new path. I suppose I could also go with “embarking” or even “embracing” though the latter is still pretty wink wink, nudge nudge.
I am officially an ADF member – I got my website login all set up and I joined some of the mailing lists. I am doing this new thing! I don’t know how it will go! I may give up halfway, or fail miserably, or something else! Or maybe it will go well.
I don’t know.
Starting new things is very hard for me. New things, you see, can go badly in so many ways, and I have to resist the temptation to give in to obsessive thinking about the things that could go wrong, or to guard against those ways by indulging in compulsions. Half the thrill of entering into something new is that I don’t yet have any associations with it. It’s a clean slate, and hopefully if I work at it, I can keep it that way.
So even though doing something new is terrifying, in some ways it’s less terrifying than doing the same old thing.