So today I got to practice what is called, in OCD treatment, an “exposure.” That means dealing with something that makes me anxious and check-y; in this case, I got distracted by work and was unable to complete something that’s generally supposed to be finished at the end of the week. By the time I found out, none of the people who could help fix it were available. There was literally nothing I could do.
All I could think about was how it was wrong and how I couldn’t fix it and this made me a terrible employee and on and on. And in the grand scheme of things, it’s really not that big a deal. But I couldn’t stop myself from thinking I should do something more to fix it. Go back to the (empty) office. Send emails (to people I knew couldn’t fix it). Call my boss (who was already home, and couldn’t fix it from there, and whom I already emailed). I was able to see that all of these thoughts were completely irrational, though, and when it started to turn into what a terrible employee and, therefore, terrible person I was, I forcibly distracted myself and the thoughts subsided.
Learning to have faith that the thoughts will subside is so hard, but so worth it.
Other than that, though, it was a pretty good week. I was very excited earlier this week because my interlibrary loan copy of Linguistics and Poetics of Latvian Folk Songs came in at the library. And then I felt like an enormous nerd.
An enormous nerd with a book that discusses Mara and Laima, though, so it’s okay. And now I finally have a source I can point to for syncretizing Laima with Lakshmi, since the author notes “Laima also has both phonological and functional affinities with the beautiful Hindu goddess Lakshmi, who also presides over happiness and riches.” (Vikis-Freibergs, p. 101)
I mean, I’m happy to go with my UPG as far as necessary, but being able to back it up is nice.
Other than being both crazy and an enormous geek, I don’t have a tremendous amount to show for the week. I did some writing, both fiction and keeping up with National Poetry Writing Month over on my other blog. I have pushed on various metalworking things, most of which I’m just waiting for them to pan out. I just started reading a book about Alexander the Great which I’m enjoying.
And that’s been my week. Stumptown Comics and some nature walking should round out this weekend. How about you guys?