Needing To

I’m having a hard time motivating myself. Everything that needs to get done is getting done – work, homework, writing deadlines. But when I’m done with “needs to” it feels like there’s not a lot of attention span left.

My solution has been to slowly add more things to my to-do list, because that makes them “needs to” but I’m afraid if it gets much longer, it’ll be overwhelming. I already find myself pushing some things ahead a couple of days or a week. Nothing that’s absolutely urgent, just things that do have to happen at some point, like switching the company my IRA is with.

I have a lot of new things on my plate that Mara’s asked of me, some of them easy and some of them harder, and some of them will be easy if I can get other things worked out. All of which falls under the “house work” heading.

When I got home from work on Friday, I went outside and did some weeding and watered my plants. I did the dishes and wiped down the counter. I swapped out some hangers in the coat closet and used the swapped hangers to finish putting the laundry away. Very glamourous, no?

It did clear my head, though. I felt better. I’ll take what I can get. Chop wood, carry water, right?

I was actually thinking that I miss having a more heavily Buddhist practice. I need a little bit of structure. The UUs didn’t do it for me, and ADF didn’t do it for me… maybe I’ll see if this is what I’m missing.

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