The Monster and the End of this Meditation


Each night, after my wife goes to bed, I sit with myself and seek to turn the page.

The bindings I have build for the Monster are numerous and varied. One day it is glue, another it is ropes, and yet another it is bricks. Each represents a lesson I took to heart about something that was wrong with me and needed to be hidden.

Each night I defy the fuzzy, blue guardian of my inner Monster. Each night he confronts me with fears and anxieties, with my scrupulosity, with what people would think if they knew how terrible I am.

Muppetwork is not very impressive, I don’t think. Other people are doing major devotional work, writing books, ascending to new heights of understanding, new spiritual towers. Me, I am going down. I am going in. I am slogging through my book, toward the inevitable finish. I just keep turning pages.

The monster at the end of the book is myself. Unlike Grover, I knew this before I started. My problem is not that my monster will eat you or me up. My problem is that freeing him is only the beginning.

I am no longer sure if my goal is to put on my wolf suit or remove my person suit. Perhaps it is both.

The monster is myself. The monster is free, and I am a nervous wreck. Now what?

0 thoughts on “The Monster and the End of this Meditation

  1. I think I do a lot of Muppetwork too. I like that term for it.

    My Monster is frantic, panicked. If it doesn’t make me perfect, it is sure that I will die. I’ll die especially horribly if people find out how terrible I am. Which they quite often do. Its role is to make sure I look perfect, so they don’t…

    The idea reminds me of something from NLP – ‘parts’ work. You get a part of yourself to talk to you, find out (through going up and up in questioning) what ‘highest good’ it thinks it is seeking for you. The tricky part is to persuade it that it’s not achieving what it thinks it is. My Monster is very small and hiding under the bed, and it isn’t easily consoled with logic.

  2. Have you seen “Monsters University” yet?

    It was especially…
    It got me, let’s just say that.
    Once it comes out on video, I want to watch them in order (not by release, but by plot) and see how it looks. The full circle is really interesting there, and perhaps there is something to be learned by watching Mike Wazowski, who is not blue or fuzzy (hi Sully), but also has to work through his own monstrousness.

  3. I went down and in for years, like my own grave, and I honestly think that if it’s not the most glamorous work, it’s the most important. Dante never have reached the Spheres without going into the depths of Hell, and we struggle to ascend from our heads if we don’t examine where our feet stand. Or, as I told JJ, to build a house, you start by digging a cellar.

    Go and look your monster in the eyes and serve him some tea. They tend to like tea. <3

    Plus, Grover is awesome and you should feel awesome. That's Wes's favorite book right now.

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