I’ve been offered a different position at work, and I said yes to it. It’s got some downsides in the short term, but it’s good positioning in the long run. I’ve really been pushing myself to be The Guy Who Pitches In at work, after my last office job ended up pigeonholed into a corner where I couldn’t get promoted.
Today was spent turning my attention to Mr. Tuesday, who has still not given me a name. I’m more at peace with that now. While there are powers I know of who entered the Labyrinth to begin the cycle of incarnation, he’s the first I’ve come across in any depth that’s the opposite. I think about apotheosis as a theological construct all the time; I’m actually kind of surprised I haven’t seen it pop up more in this project.
Like Tyr, he has connotations of honor and discipline. He’s all business one minute and amused by me the next. I approached him first thing when I got home from work, because if there’s anybody I’m not going to put it off with, it’s him.
I’m a work in progress, and I have to approach him believing that. One of my co-domagick-ers wrote about lying to yourself today and I found that timely for me. Tuesday will see right through false confidence, but he’ll also see right through the kind of self-deprecation that I use to make excuses for myself before I even start. Honesty is hard; being too hard on myself is easier, because it protects me from disappointment.
I prayed to the Dark Lady tonight too, just chanting her mantra. It felt good to do that. It’s not a promise, it’s not a commitment. It’s just reaching out because it felt comfortable to reach out to her and get that answer back. Hopefully it’s a little step toward a healthy ongoing relationship.